Setting Goals and Being Successful in 2026

Around the start of a new year, many people start to think about goals. Sometimes this shows up as motivation. Other times it shows up as pressure. We’re encouraged to reset, improve, and commit to change, often in very absolute ways. Quit this! Eliminate that! Start fresh on a specific date!

While goals related to health and self improvement can be meaningful, the way we approach them matters just as much as the intention behind them. When goals are framed as rigid rules or all-or-nothing decisions, they often create more stress than support. For a lot of people, this leads to cycles of motivation followed by frustration, guilt, or self-criticism when real life inevitably interrupts.

Shifting from Restriction to Support

A more sustainable approach is to shift the focus away from what needs to be removed and toward what can be added. Instead of concentrating on restriction, it’s truly more helpful to ask what would feel supportive right now. This might look like practicing more self-care, building moments of mindfulness into the day, or creating routines that feel grounding rather than demanding. When goals are framed this way, they tend to feel less like obligations and more like invitations. Softer… more attainable. And much less daunting.

The Power of Self-Talk in Goal Setting

It is often easier to create change when we allow ourselves to move gradually. Language plays a role here. Saying “I would like to do less of something” tends to be more realistic and compassionate than saying “I will never do this again.” The first creates space for progress. The second leaves little room for learning, adjustment, or being human. When we soften the language around our goals, we often soften our relationship with ourselves as well.

Many people find that as they approach goals with more compassion and flexibility, their confidence begins to grow. Self-esteem improves not because everything is suddenly resolved, but because they are learning to trust themselves again. They begin to see that progress is possible without self-punishment, and that setbacks do not erase the effort they’ve already made.

Why Small, Attainable Goals Lead to Real Change

When goals are attainable, they foster a sense of success rather than failure. Over time, as supportive habits increase, behaviours that no longer serve us often decrease naturally. This process can feel slower than making dramatic declarations, but it is usually far more sustainable. Small changes practiced consistently tend to have a greater impact than big changes attempted all at once.

In my work with individuals and groups, I often encourage people to begin by writing everything down. This isn’t about creating a perfect plan or holding yourself to an unrealistic standard. It’s about clarity. When everything is out on paper, the concerns, the hopes, the frustrations, and the areas of uncertainty, it becomes easier to see what feels manageable and what may need a different kind of attention.

From there, it can be helpful to distinguish between what is solvable and what is not. Some challenges can be addressed directly, such as organizing finances, improving daily routines, or making changes that support physical and emotional wellbeing. These are areas where clear goals and steady effort can lead to noticeable change.

Other challenges, however, may not be fully “solved.” Certain health conditions, long-standing stressors, or ongoing life circumstances don’t disappear simply because we set a goal. In these cases, success may look different. Goals can focus on managing symptoms, reducing stress, improving coping strategies, or creating more balance within the situation rather than trying to eliminate it entirely.

Redefining What Success Really Means

This distinction is important because it allows us to set goals that are aligned with reality. When we expect ourselves to “fix” something that cannot be fixed, it can lead to discouragement or a sense of failure. When we shift toward supporting ourselves within those challenges, progress often feels more achievable and meaningful.

Success, then, is not defined by perfection or by never struggling. It is defined by consistency, self-awareness, and the ability to return to your goals even after setbacks. Being accountable does not mean being harsh. It means being honest about what is working, what is not, and what might need to change along the way.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

If you find goal-setting challenging or discouraging, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Having support can help you slow the process down, clarify what you want to work toward, and approach change in a way that feels realistic and sustainable. Sometimes simply having space to talk through your goals can make them feel more grounded and attainable.

If you’d like help designing goals that support your health, self-esteem, and overall wellbeing, feel free to reach out to book an appointment and start the conversation. Change does not have to be dramatic to be meaningful. Often, it begins with choosing a kinder and more realistic way forward.